Monthly Archives: June 2013

‘Feed The Tree’ ….Tin Man Games’ Forest Of Doom reviewed

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Shape-shifting Tit

Just a hoodrat, out doing hoodrat shit

Before we kick off let’s get this straight ..I’m not an ‘app guy’. Hell, the only reason I even have a space phone now is because my wife was upgrading to the iPhone 5 and let me have her old model. Prior to that act of charity, I was perfectly happy kicking it Nokia style with a beaten up blower that could just about send a text and was held together with Sellotape. Owning up to date tech and communicating with other humans has just never been that important to me I guess. With all that in mind I feel a bit like I’m traipsing with my bumpkin boots all over OC’s cabbage patch. Sorry Chief. Continue reading →

The Warhammer Diorama

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You’ll remember in my previous article harking back to the ‘glory days’ of Games Workshop (Just to clarify the definition of the glory days of Games Workshop for anyone is pretty much when you were a kid and everything was cool as hell) I mentioned that I once had grand plans to create my own Golden Demon dioramas. One of my ground breaking ideas was some Eldar Jetbikes just flying over some ground which I imagine would just be a Frosties packet covered in flocking. Probably not a winner (maybe 3rd or 4th place though). It wouldn’t have been able to compete against something like this…

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Incredible Crimson Fists diorama; although I would have preferred one based on the Rogue Trader artwork. This one will have to do I guess.

In this article (the first of a few I hope) I’m going to be showing some of my favourite dioramas – this won’t include all of them but will show quite a lot. As a warning this article will provide no real insight into anything at all really but will be another self serving trip down memory lane for me – enjoy!

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Diabolical Full Moon Mysticism – Dark Elves Part 2

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Immortal looking sweet as fuck down the woods

Immortal clearly giving very few fucks.

So Part 2 of my gamer’s tale finds us picking up where we left off with an exploration of the massive pile of Druchii I got off Owain a couple of weekends back. It should be noted at this point that the handover took place at a busy hardcore show in Leeds that Owain’s bands were playing. It was a good gig, the vibe was right, all the bands were great and there were a lot of good friends hanging around. Too bad I was not interested in any of that at all, I just wanted to get home and play with my new toys pew pew!

After having a good rummage through the stack of boxes and consulting a few old DE pictorial guides to identify some of the models, my haul breaks down like this:

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Band Of The Week – Violent Reaction

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PimlottTit

He used to be a right weedy little bastard.

A lot of people spout on about how it was better a few years ago and how these days it is all different and diluted and boring. A lot of people spout on about how the new Daft Punk single is good music.

Fuck em. There is no way that UK Hardcore is in a shitter place now than it was 5, 7 or 10 years ago. Anyone who thinks that must be on crack. Granted, I’m not that guy who turns up at every single show for every band, or even at some shows for some bands. But I can tell you this. Me and Nate sat up till late (or at least late for us) a little while back talking about our days playing in the likes of On Thin Ice and Seconds Out. And while the intention of those bands was to stir the pot a little, and introduce an element of unpredictability into what we considered a fairly bland scene (it wasn’t, we were just fucking dick heads), the fact is, that goal has now been reached. I watch a band like The Flex, and the reaction they get is fucking wild. And not from those simple dipshits acting hard at the back trying to elbow birds, or those little turds throwing crowd punches at carefully selected, smaller members of the audience. I mean the lads at the front who can’t fuckin believe what they’re hearing, and have completely lost themselves to the music.

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New Ethic – Talisman, Warhammer Quest and thoughts on GW’s Digital Gaming Strategy

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Whilst GW has received much (mainly valid) criticism for their digital policy over the years, the dissolution of THQ has preceded a new approach for their video games strategy that is started to produce some quite interesting results. Rather than the days of one company holding all the rights, and thus producing hit (Dawn of War), miss (Fire Warrior) and indifferent (Squad Command) games based on their IP, they have reduced the exclusivity and instead started to licence their games out to multiple smaller companies with a proven track record in delivering mobile content, who can develop apps that are faithful to their IP.

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Dope Sick Goblins

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The moshing Orc.

After sitting on the boxes for a few weeks, I decided to get in to the swing of things with my Orc and Goblin army that I inherited from Corehammer luminary John Smart. Going through the box brought back some fond memories of gaming in Smart’s old flat five years ago. In particular I loved seeing the Moshing Orc again, seeing this guy made me realise that the imagination of John Smart is not to be messed with. Continue reading →

How to: Magnetise your movement trays & regiments

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Fantasy players will know the importance of magnetising your trays, but this guide is for the uninitiated. So sorry to any experienced players, this may be teaching you to suck eggs. 40k or players of other game systems may be familiar with magnetising arms on a dreadnaught or a turret on a tank, but this is a little bit different (and in some ways simpler).

Your first question might be “why even do this?” Well, unlike most games, Fantasy obviously has regiments, all ranked up on their movement trays, that’s fine on a flat table. But when you introduce some hills or other scenery to your board the trays move on top of, you can bet your arse that standard bearer will fall over, taking a rank or two with him.

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Them Bones

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Well it seems that most of the guys are coming to the Tale of Gamers with little to no Fantasy experience, it’s all good, you have to start somewhere with what I believe to be the most rewarding and tactical of GW’s games. I however have been playing the game for around 18 months after coming back to the hobby and deciding that Space Marines didn’t cut it for me (although I’ve dabbled in the newer edition and it aligns more to the fine memories I hold onto of 2nd edition, so in the future I’d like to give it a proper chance).

Currently I run a 2400 point Ogre Kingdoms army which I love to play, generally running them with a mix of filth and fluff (last few games I’ve had 6 Yettis, just because!) So coming from an army that has a relatively high power level (or some would argue had, due to the balancing GW seem to be doing with all of the 8th books) I’ve wanted to use an army that would improve my tactical play as well as bing easy to paint to a decent standard. Loving an underdog, I thought I would go for the widely considered bottom rung army, The Tomb Kings.
Beneath the Sands

Band Of The Week – Daylight

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We’re trying to keep updates on this thing as regular as possible but obviously dropping knowledge and laughs EVERY SINGLE DAY can be somewhat tasking, even for legendary wits and all-knowing scribes like the Corehammer crew. To remedy potential midweek lulls in posting I give you Band Of The Week, a new weekly article designed purely to keep my contribution count up whilst demanding minimal effort on my part. As the name suggests, I’ll be recommending a new band to check out each week and berating you for not knowing all about a band that I only just discovered for myself the day before, idiots. Continue reading →