I’ll start this review off with a brief disclaimer. As will soon become apparent i’m certainly no wordsmith. I believe I’m going to require a fair  bit of editing as I’m definitely going to babble about things which have little interest to anyone but myself. There will also be plenty of information that I got told of value and importance that I will of, on some level, registered as being awesome but will have simply sat there blank faced instead of making an actual note of it. When you ascend to fully fledged man-child status you’ll come to understand that as one physically grows, one also mentally regresses. So as this is my first real write-up/report for CH you’ll have to bare with me as I spill the feculent meanderings of my mind into text.

Saturday was a really early start from a very late night. Getting into bed at 1.30 am and setting my alarm for 4.30 am was a horrible affair. It was touch and go whether I could really afford to go and take time off work, but I’d committed myself and figured I’m not wasting my ticket cost. I was going to be a lone wolf venturing down there by myself, so there was an element of apprehension as this was my first big GW/BL event. I didn’t even take my enabler (aka my girlfriend). At 4.30 the alarm goes off and I lie there in the dark thinking how daunting the task of actually getting up and dragging myself out is. After shuffling around the room in the dark, believing that every movement is going to incur my girlfriend’s wrath .I get my gear together. I arrive at the Tesco to pick up meagre supplies for the journey and make a bleary eyed shuffle to the train station knowing that the real hell awaits. Enduring multiple changes and sitting on freezing train platforms waiting for connections. I finally get to Bulwell station and though I’ve endured the misery of public transport, as the sun raised itself up, so too did my spirits. I jumped off at the station unsure of what to expect from this small outskirt of Nottingham. Would it be a shady estate/warzone? Do I need to un-do my laces in preperation to ensure I can give the local rogues my boots in a timely manner to avoid a kicking? As it turns out, no, it was lovely little town with a stream running through it and as I walked along it’s banks toward my hotel it even had some medieval stocks with a plaque on them. I make no secret of my love for dogs and Harley’s, and as I sauntered along I happened upon a whole bunch of German Shepherds and cool Harleys which contributed to an awesome mood. Surely the best of omens!! I walked up to the hotel that I had booked in haste (to get a cheap price) before the weekend and was really taken aback. The place looked posh. Posh enough to make me look like a bedraggled vagrant looking for shelter. It was still way too early to check in or to get myself down to the weekend venue. So I sat myself at the bus stop and watched hilarious videos of goats screaming and fainting. Whilst sat there a bus pulled up and the driver had a huge red mohawk. At this point I knew it was going to be an excellent day.

The local buggery device was mighty tempting.

After I’d killed enough time I rang myself a taxi and had my chauffeur take me down to the Nottingham Belfry, don’t spare the horses. Upon arrival I was stunned immediately, the place had only just opened and it was already absolutely rammed!! The Black Library had set up a circular store in the reception area of the hotel and it was HEAVING! A large queue had formed around the stall with folk perusing the event exclusives as they made their way around to the till. And let’s be honest who am I to stand apart from the throng? I got straight into the queue and dived into the action. Picking up items and wiping my drool off of them. Shortly after joining and giving my wallet fear tremors the first occurrence of a soon to be recurrent theme happened. The guy in front of me turned around and started talking about what I was buying, he then asked if I’d come up on my own like him to which I replied I had. It was pretty cool that someone could just turn round and start up a casual conversation like that. We discussed what was available at the stall, the stuff we’d read and the various authors and their works. We also chatted about the new release (and centre point of the event), Macragge’s Honour (which I will go into properly in a separate review). Whilst waiting to pay I realised that the start of the day’s events were coming up and I was going to be in somewhat of a rush.

Seriously it was busier than this, I just had to take this pic later or all you would of seen was a literary conga line.

Here’s my second disclaimer, on this occasion I did not have the benefit of the usual Corehammer hydra approach, rolling solo I had to make some difficult choices of what I was actually going to see so please understand this review is going to be fairly subjective to myself and my own tastes and preferences. My first choice of seminar was The Sons of Sanguinious hosted by authors James Swallow and Andy Smilie. The seminar was a slow starter, with people apparently reluctant to be the first to put their hands up. Once the flow got moving though it was a thoroughly enjoyable seminar. The content bounced around between their work on the James’ work on the Blood Angels and Andy’s on the Flesh Tearers. What I really enjoyed about the seminars (and what I learned fairly quickly) was that a lot of the questions asked were hypotheticals and really explored the characters. Questioning the writers was a great opportunity to gain a deeper insight into the characters and their thoughts and motivations beyond the books. “Do you think “Insert awesome hero’s name” REALLY believed this?”; “Did “Insert shadowy potential traitor’s name” mean to do that?” The open format provided a great opportunity to really explore what the fans were dying to ask.

Next up was The Horus Heresy: The Loyalists with Dan Abnett, Nick Kyme, Chris Wraight and Graham McNeill.This was going to be one of the big panels of the day and the numbers showed. There was no hesitation in the questions and the audience got straight into it.  Great sets of questions and Mr Abnett took the lead with the answers. All of the panel answered questions well and had a great sense of humour making it really fun to be part of. I asked a couple of questions and took the opportunity to ask a question to both authors writing on either side of the Prospero events.

After my crappy single sandwich breakfast from Tesco the next important matter was what to have for lunch. Considering our limited options my new mate and I decided that a good idea may be the hotel’s buffet laid on especially for the event. What a rookie error that was. “Oh buffet” I can fill my boots for seven quid (A quid is one English pound for our international brethren who believe im misspelling an arthropod).” No. Buffet means choice of suicidally depressing disappointment. I got to choose either a can of coke or diet coke, one of about four piss poor sandwiches, one of a multipack selection of Walkers and finally a Mars bar or a bit of fruit. So for seven quid I got a can of coke, a cheese and pickle sandwich, a bag of cheese and onion crisps and a fucking mars bar. At this point I wanted to ram my empty bag of crisps down the mouth of the beaming hotel wanker who ushered me in. I should mention that this in no way reflected upon the organisers of the event, the hotel were out to make a quick buck and bent me over for it.

By this time I’d decided head back for the next event. I ambled down a different corridor this time and was greeted by a collection of HUGE art prints hung over the windows. I immediately thought, they’re cool, I wonder if I can nick one when it’s over. Then I realised they were actually for sale and considering the monstrous size I naturally thought they’d cost a fortune. Turns out they didn’t and I hurried back to the tills practically throwing my money at them. I was terrified by the idea that someone may buy one of the ones I wanted (my choices being and Abaddon print or a Space Wolves one). As I got there a bloke was buying the Abaddon print so it made my considerably easier, and as it happens much more satisfying.

You don’t grasp how ridiculous my purchase it is without my smug grinning face next to it.

I returned to the main room for An Audience with Graham McNeill. I was particularly excited about this one as Thousand Sons is my favourite book so far within the Heresy. Some great questions were bounced about and I learnt two great things about McNeill. Firstly when he was a kid he told his mother whilst sat in the back of the car, “Mum, I either want to be a writer or a bin man.” To which she replied “It’s nice you have aspirations.” Luckily for us he picked the former. Secondly he went on to explain that he used to buy 2000AD after his Grandma accidentally bought him his first issue thinking it was about dinosaurs. Upon reading it Graham decided that some of the stories didn’t end the way he cared for and so he told his dad. His father said, “Well write it yourself”. So a young McNeill started tippexing out the dialogue boxes and writing in his own narration. Awesome, wouldn’t mind seeing the crazy way Dredd could have been improved at the eager hands of a child prodigy.

I kept myself planted in the same room for the following seminar, Horus Heresy: The Traitors with Graham McNeill, Rob Saunders, John French and Aaron Dembki-Bowden. This was the first opportunity to see a few new members of the panel. I put a question to the entire panel on the predestined nature of Angron and after being threatened by Aaron Dembski-Bowden I decided I really quite liked the guy. It was an enjoyable back and forth between the audience and the panel with jokes being cracked and Aaron really showed an endearing albeit self-deprecating sense of humour. The informal and enjoyable atmosphere of the seminar was really kept alive by the dynamic between these guys.

My arse was getting numb for being planted in the same room for a few hours but I wasn’t going to be exercising my legs just yet as it was time for An Audience with Dan Abnett. As can be expected the room was very busy for this one and it was clear that there was a lot of enthusiasm for Dans work. Once again the questions came thick and fast with people desperate to prise out more revelations and ask about their favourite Abnett works. I’m no exception to that and swooped upon the chance to ask a few burning questions. Once Dan started to answer questions on The Wolves and reveal an interest in further works featuring them I immediately became over excited and fairly rowdy. For the rest of the panel things were somewhat of a blur as I slipped into a Red Dream coma of Fenrisian excitement. SPOILER ALERT: I CAN ALSO MAKE A BIG REVEAL HERE, Dan released the names of the two lost Primarchs, it’s Timmy and Petey.

At the end of the seminar I finally got to stretch my legs for what would be the last part of my day at the events. Lords of The Eye Of Terror with John French and Aaron Dembski-Bowden. The set of questions were divided up between John French’s work on Ahriman’s Exile and Aarons Demski-Bowden’s on Betrayer and Butcher’s Nails. I got a couple of questions in once again as the pace was a bit slower at the start. I wanted to know if there would be an expansion into the possibility of bringing out other characters such as Typhus and Lucius as avatars of their gods. It was a question that was met with welcome positivity. As the panel was drawing to a close it unfortunately devolved into a a case of “my favourite primarch would beat your favourite Primarch” which looked like it was wearying to the pair of them

That concluded my day as a combination of a distinct lack of sleep and an early start was catching up with me. There were a couple of later social events taking place in the evening that I deemed worth missing in order to get back to my lodgings. The hotel was amazing but my meagre repast certainly wasn’t. I devoured two feeble flapjacks and a pack of kettle chips. Not exactly hearty eating. Shortly after I gave a flick through my day’s purchases and contentedly put my feet up for the night. The TV was doing that thing old TV’s do when they’ve given up their machine spirit and emit a horrific high pitched whining which gave me an irritating headache. After half watching The Eagle and deciding it was utter dick, I got my head down for an early night.

Part 2 To Follow.