Author Archives: David Ager

About David Ager

David Ager rides bikes, reads books, talks about Warhammer more than plays it & wants to be 11 again. Known within hardcore for turning up to Rot In Hell gigs with only 4 strings on his guitar and forgetting songs mid set.

Kiss Me Fat Boy! – Stephen Kings IT

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Now I want to preface this article by admitting that It is an obvious choice for a horror movie retrospective but it has significant importance to me – it managed to scare me off a whole genre of film up until this very day, which means I’ve missed out classics such as Jason X and Nine Lives. I cannot stand watching most horror movies and I really do believe it links closely to the clown played by the guy from Home Alone 2.

It’s best for us to go back to where this haunting began – I believe the year was 1996, I was at a friends house for what I understood would be an enjoyable birthday sleepover. I remember we played some Tekken 2, I assume we ate some breaded chicken and watched the Demon Headmaster – all things that guarantee a 9 year old a great night of entertainment.

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Cinema Etiquette

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I used to enjoy going to the cinemas but now I feel the sense of joy I had as a child ebbing away, and feel it slowly replaced by feelings of anxiety, confusion, stress & of course my old friend – hatred. After going to see the final Hobbit movie tonight, and coming out feeling like I could set fire to my own face, and then the cinema, I thought I’d write down some basic rules to help people not act like a tit when you’re at the flicks.

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Look at this model, ruining everyones fake cinema experience.

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Why everyone should read The Lost And The Damned

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I like my 40k and Warhammer dark in both aesthetic & fluff – I’ve never had an Ork or Goblin army because the aesthetic that I like is one of bleakness & misery. Ork models can sometimes look a bit too light hearted and wacky for my personal tastes. There’s a reason I’ve been drawn to Death Guard, Nurgle, Tzeentch & Crimson Fist armies because I like my version of the grim darkness of the future to be grim. The reason I mention this is because it offers a good explanation as to why I like the Realm Of Chaos books so much.

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There is no reality – Me & Games Day 2013

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It’s been a while since I’ve written an article for the site now but if you did read any of them you may remember that I am a very nostalgic person. I yearn for a time in the hobby 16 years ago that in reality probably did not exist – Games Day was part of this image of a ‘golden age’ of Games Workshop. For various reasons, I have never been to a Games Day until this last weekend. But I had built the event up to be possibly the greatest event known to man – on par with the first moon landing or the fall of the Berlin Wall. I felt that this was the year to finally make the pilgrimage (also everyone from Corehammer was going).

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The Corehammer Crew arrives at Games Day and proceeds to push children and men-children creatures out of the way for tickets.

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Clenched Fist, to the man in the sky – Part 2

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Like a metaphor for my life for the past 26 years; the army is moving forward but very slowly.

I mentioned in my last post that I’d only update once some painting had been done, however my dip & matt spray haven’t turned up so that’s been delayed. I have added some more marines, a HQ & come up with some kind of army list so I figured that was worth some kind of update!

I found these tactical marines in my basement so I’m almost upto having the three squads of the ten that I want – plus there were some beakies in there and I am a sucker for those motherfuckers. I’d actually have an army full of beakies if I could, but that would cost me a week’s wage from Forge World. Some of them are in kind of odd poses but I’m gonna lob a ton of purity seals and stuff on them to mix them up a little and distract the eye.

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Clenched fist, to the man in the sky – Part 1

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I have had a varied level of success with the achievements in my life – I believe my crowning achievement came when I was 17. Whilst driving through Leeds city centre as part of a three car convoy full of teenage members of the straight edge community returning home after playing a house show, I had a cold piece of pizza in my hand. Going past the university library, I spotted a young lady wearing a low cut top and in a moment of pure clarity I saw the trajectories required in order to launch the pizza through the air and land directly between her breasts. I catapulted the pizza from the car as my fifteen or so friends watched and it piroetted mid air, before landing topping down on her chest – she screamed like she had been struck by the shell from a bolter. Everyone cheered and I knew that it would be the greatest thing I would ever achieve. (I’d like to point out that I didn’t chose a female specifically, I also once egged a man walking to the pub on Christmas Eve).

The reason I mention achievements is because I’ve been into Games Workshop products for about fifteen years now, but have still only built & painted one army of 1000 points, that’s pretty ridiculous. So this overly long introduction was basically to say that my plan with this series of articles is to motivate me to complete a Crimson Fists force and get it to at least 1500 points – hopefully 2000, then I can die relatively happy.inflatable water slide canada

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The models I already painted last year, not much but it’s a start!

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The Warhammer Diorama

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You’ll remember in my previous article harking back to the ‘glory days’ of Games Workshop (Just to clarify the definition of the glory days of Games Workshop for anyone is pretty much when you were a kid and everything was cool as hell) I mentioned that I once had grand plans to create my own Golden Demon dioramas. One of my ground breaking ideas was some Eldar Jetbikes just flying over some ground which I imagine would just be a Frosties packet covered in flocking. Probably not a winner (maybe 3rd or 4th place though). It wouldn’t have been able to compete against something like this…

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Incredible Crimson Fists diorama; although I would have preferred one based on the Rogue Trader artwork. This one will have to do I guess.

In this article (the first of a few I hope) I’m going to be showing some of my favourite dioramas – this won’t include all of them but will show quite a lot. As a warning this article will provide no real insight into anything at all really but will be another self serving trip down memory lane for me – enjoy!

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The Beginning Of The End – White Dwarf 194

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There’s not much I remember from 1996, I was 10 – I remember quite a lot about Euro ’96 and England getting knocked out, I’m pretty sure I cried. I can just about remember not sleeping a whole night at a friends birthday party due to playing Tekken and watching Stephen Kings ‘It’ then falling asleep into my dinner the next day. Finally for my birthday I got ‘Dizzy Heights’ by Lightning Seeds – absolutely shite.

The event I most clearly remember doing is buying my first copy of White Dwarf from the newsagents in our village – a few of the older lads in my street (all of them actually) played Warhammer 40k to various levels so it made sense that I start myself to avoid getting my head kicked in. I was shit at football even though I loved playing it so this was my first real introduction to something that kids were interested in that wasn’t football or video games.

In this article I’m going to talk you through some of my favourite parts of this issue and why it drew me into the Warhammer universe so far I’m still here 16 years later. FYI that most of it will be nonsense and is not exactly an in depth analysis of the issue.

WD Cover 194

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