About Paul

Likes painting models.

The Long War, Painted Models V Unpainted.

Picture if you will the scene, me and John are setting up our, admittedly very purple, armies on a nicely laid out table at our local gaming centre. Its shaping up to be a fun, cinematic experience with some cool scenery, painted models and good laughs.

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Tabled, John lost 0 units either thanks to my cursed dice skills.

Setting up next to us is a kid with a Forgeworld army of bare half built resin models, his opponent rocks up and unloads a pile of space marines that have been sprayed with some sort of red car paint, bases and all, as well as a storm raven. I say a storm raven, but this is 3/4 of a Storm Raven, there’s no doors, no weapons, its essentially an empty shell again sprayed in red car paint.

I was almost sick in my mouth.

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Shadows of Brimstone aka WTF is Kickstarter?

 

downloadKickstarter, what in the world of fuck is that then? Its taken me about 18 months to get my head around what the deal is here. Its dragons den with no dragons and absolutely no fucking quality control, you give someone some of your money, and they might think about doing something worthwhile with it, and send you a bit of it, or they might just spunk it up the wall on cocaine, burgers and strippers. Its a lottery. So why the fuck would anyone go in for it?

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How to Paint Citadel Miniatures (The Old Way)

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Chaos Space Marine – “Hey Genestealer, pass me me the Dorito’s while we just chill on this space hulk together will you?”
Never happen.

You’re 11 years old, you’ve got just Space Crusade for Christmas, there’s templates, dice and cool as shit miniatures all over the place, and you have no fucking clue what to do with any of it. This should have been a life lesson for the entirety of Games Workshops products for me, I STILL don’t know how to properly play Space Crusade, 40k, Necromunda or any bastard game you care to mention. I did complete Space Marine on the PS3 though.

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How to paint pre heresy Emperors Children the easy way.

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You’re gonna need more than weak lemon drink to hang with us son.

Simon Quinlank may well be the prince of pass times, the King of all hobbies, and for a few neckbeards down your local GW store, this guy is more than likely what they’ll end up as.. But when you’re hanging with Slaanesh, the Prince of Pleasure, weak lemon drink and a note book just aint gonna cut it, dig?

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Boldly going where everyone’s been before. Dipping miniatures, or not.

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This must be what its like being a time traveller, or someone frozen in the past, waking up to find the world changed beyond recognition, dazzling skylines as far as the eye can see, wondrous technology, making life both richer and easier, feeling your head is actually going to explode with all the new data being pumped in to it by all senses.

What am I on about? The technological advances in miniature painting during my 15 year hiatus, that’s what. I’m consistently being blown away with new shit, the now ubiquitous air bush, the mind bending colour theory on show, using household products to weather and age your models, all this has come to pass, and I’m still of the opinion that thinning ones paints is the pinnacle of technological advancement.sesame street bounce house

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Feeble Screams From Forests Unknown Part 4

This is part four of the Tale of a Gamer series, this particular set of articles centers around my Wood Elf army, as it grows.

I say Wood Elf army, but as it stands my army is 100% the creatures of Athel Loren: Treeman, Dryads, Branchwraiths, Tree Kin and soon to be an Eagle. And, if i’m brutally honest, for the time being I’m quite liking that. Fuck the meddling elderkin, this ill shit was here first.

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For the 500 points, I’m pretty much there. I’ll take a Branchnymph for my unit of Dryads, three Tree Kin, an Eagle and a Branchwraith for HQ. I’m assuming this sits in with my infantry, but I’m not sure on this point as I’ve only read the fluff in the army book. I’m shit at rules, that’s what John Marsden’s for. But I digress, that’s about 460 points, add a few magical things and we’re ready to rock at 500.

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Summoning – “Old Mornings Dawn” Review

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I’m no black metal expert, I don’t sit in a dark room in Bergen poring over pictures of Dead and his messy ending. I understand that the genre’s become something other than what it started off as, and that it’s fragmented. But as far as I’m concerned that’s a good thing. This isn’t Norwegian, there are hardly any guitars, and certainly no dead bodies.   Continue reading